How To Handle Pre And Post Marital Relationships

Life does change overnight for recently married couples. The bride and bridegroom get excited about their new social status and start planning on how they want to spend their new life together.

The love, care and concern which they shared for each other during their dating days seems to have mold itself into a new meaning after marriage.

The necessity of premarital counseling sessions

When a couple would get married, the word ‘responsibility’ would get attached to a relationship. Their relationship will mature with time, depending upon how skillfully they are able to understand and balance each other’s emotional needs. Marriage councilors recommend pre- marital counseling for couples who have already been engaged and would be getting married soon.

The partners are made aware of each other’s personality traits, through these counseling sessions. They are made to solve several problem solving situations, in which their personality traits are recognized. The councilors educate them on how several difficult situations can be resolved through mutual understanding and effort.

These counseling sessions are especially important for those couples, who have faced difficulties in finding solution to their problems in the past. The partners are made to overcome their fears regarding commitment.

Marriage councilors emphasize on the importance of premarital education. The couples need to be educated on how they will be able to make their marriage successful. They are made to realize, how sharing can help them to build a strong foundation of their relationship.

During a premarital counseling session, the marriage therapist asks several questions to the bride and bridegroom regarding their interest, family, work schedules and education.

She attempts to educate them on the communication skills which need to be practiced to maintain a harmony in the relationship. A successful marriage makes a happy home. The partners are not only successful in generating a positive feeling towards each other, but are also able to improve their relationships with the other family members.

Often, spouses begin to feel their marriage like a burden because of the unrealistic expectations, which they have from each other. In premarital counseling sessions, couples are made to discuss their future plans regarding parenting, finance and working schedules.


Psychologists recommend premarital counseling for all engaged couples, because it helps them to get prepared for the lifelong commitment, which will bring happiness to themselves and their families.

Researchers have proved that, couples with completely different interest and personality get married to each other. Sometimes partners are not able to communicate with each other regularly due to work reasons. Both of them could be settled in different cities.

This restricts the time which they could have spent with each other. Hence, the couples get married without knowing each other. In such cases, premarital education is highly recommended. When two indivuals are in love, they try and impress each other by doing things which the other partner likes.

It is generally after marriage that the couples begin to discover the true nature of their partners. Conflicts arise between the partners, when they are not able to accept and cope with the responsibilities associated with marriage. In premarital counseling sessions, the couples are educated about the impact of a successful marriage in their lives.

Marriage involves adjustment and understanding

Marriage involves the acceptance of both the partners into each other’s family. Couples belonging to different family customs, traditions, religious ideas, and education and lifestyle conditions get married to each other.

It is important for both the partners to accept and adjust each other’s family norms; otherwise they would not be successful in nurturing their relationship, with other family members. Problems in ones marriage occurs mainly due to the misinterpretation of incidents.

Arguments over trifle matters can create a stress in the relationship. A partner begins to develop a feeling of betrayal, when she has to confront the everyday stress associated with an unhappy marriage.

Marriage councilors emphasize that, solutions to every problem can be found with patience and understanding. The success of marriage depends upon the flexible attitude of both the partners. The spouses should be willing to listen and communicate with each other, and then only will be able to express their differences.

Marriage therapists insist that the couples should develop a ‘we approach’ towards their relationship. Spouses should not waste their time, thinking about what their spouse is not; instead, they should constantly attempt to rediscover the hidden qualities of their partner, which had brought them, closer.

Spouses should not feel reluctant to accept their faults when they are wrong, and by saying the simple word ‘sorry’, they can rebuild their trust in their relationship.

Stress and its effects on marriage

Immense work pressure increases the stress in our lives. Most couples, in the desire to improve their financial conditions, spend most of their time at work rather than home. In such cases, a feeling of ignorance and negligence develops among the couples. Constant complains, arguments can generate bitter quarrels between the spouses.

Violent, abusive conflicts causes a major stress in the lives of both the partners. Couples find it difficult to cope with their work or with their family, when they are depressed and puzzled about their marriage.

Mutual care and concern is required from both the partners, to strengthen their emotional ties. Marriage can be compared to a partnership deal between two individuals, who use their teamwork to resolve all their conflicts at home or at work.

Most unsuccessful marriages end with a divorce. This happens because couples are not willing to compromise and cope with their differences. Partners should not compare their relationship with others. This constant comparison evokes a feeling of resentment and anger between them.

When the relationship between the parents is not stable, it is their children who gets most affected. The pain of an unhappy marriage weakens the family bonds and erases away the love between them.

Marriage councilors believe that most problems related to an unhappy marriage cultivate because both partners have a tendency to ignore the issues.

Conflicts, which have not been resolved in the past, increases the grievances between the partners. Psychologist believes that sufficient amount of time should be spent between the partners, in discussing and resolving their differences.

Effective handling of the relationship is required from both the partners. When the partners agree with each other’s actions and thoughts, only then, they will be able to strengthen their bonds of marriage.



This entry was posted in Love
comprehensivesolns